I love to dance. When I am dancing, I feel alive. It brings me great joy. As I sit here reflecting on my love for dance, I realize how similar dancing is to the flow of life. After my assault in 2018, I took up ballroom dancing. I wanted to explore trying to be intimate again in a safe environment. I also wanted to learn how to be led, as my ego was always trying to make life happen.
In dance, I am considered a follower. That means I am usually dancing backward (in heels), not knowing where I am going and taking directions from my lead, trusting that they are clearing the path of dance. The lead may release a hand to change directions, gently nudge my shoulder, or raise their hand to signala turn. I must be present with my partner to clearly understand our next move. We must hear and feel the music because it determines the dance style. From slow, graceful dances like the waltz to quick, sexy dances like salsa.
In dance, as in life, we are all followers being led by our higher power, whether referred to as God, Divine, Source, Love, (or your belief system’s name). For this article, I will reference it as Divine. Like dance, I must surrender to my partner, the Divine, to be led into the unknown, trusting that it will clear our path. I need to be present enough to hear the music or feel the nudges of which direction I should go in.
If I try to lead when I should be following, I can end up stepping on toes, going in the wrong direction, or doing a completely different dance than the music guides. What this looks like for me in my life is incorrect relationships, saying yes to misaligned opportunities, or completely doing things not aligned with my authentic self – all in attempts to control my life’s direction. It happens when I am letting my ego tell me I “need” to do this or “should” do that. The ego needs to have certainty, but life is unpredictable. The ego will want to create safety by taking us back to the past, as it is all the ego knows. The ego has no idea about all the possibilities that life has to offer because it has never been there (as my coach often reminds me).
Have you ever had the experience of being uncertain – and your ego fills your head with chatter of fears from the past or even worse, completely made-up scenarios of all the worst outcomes, only to have it turn out better than your ego could imagine? We must let go of the familiar and surrender to the unknown to live life to its fullest potential.
When I can completely surrender to the Divine, give up the need to choreograph my life, and just sink into the music to be fully present, feel the gentle guidance of the universe, and trust the process – even though I do not know where the dance or life is taking me – it truly is one of the most beautiful and moving dances of my life.
Every great dancer has a coach to bring attention to misalignment, missed steps, and to create awareness of possibilities. Are you willing to surrender to the unknown and to be led by life to dance your best dance? Would you like a coach to guide you along your dance with life?
